Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
