What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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