im drinking this country out of the recession.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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