i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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