She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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