I'm laying in your front yard are you home
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
