Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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