i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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