Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
