So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
