You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
