I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
