Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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