come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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