I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
