Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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