There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
