I love black thongs
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
