hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
