Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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