they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
