I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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