One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
