My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
