Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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