Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
