Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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