According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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