He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
