Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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