what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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