i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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