her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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