I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
