matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize