I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
