I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
