The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
