Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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