like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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