Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
