Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
