Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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