Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
