I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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