i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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