mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
