Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
