You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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