Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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