Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
