The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
