Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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