There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
