hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
