I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
