its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
